Happier Without The Mask
by Strawberry4evr
Summary: Pre-Twilight, Canon: Edward is left 'babysitting' Emmett while the others are out hunting, and he questions his brother on his childish behaviour, and the two share a conversation where they both admit that they're not entirely happy with themselves, and some other members of the family. ONESHOT
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so when I first thought of this, the angst was all about Emmett and for once Edward was the one helping to fix problems instead of causing them, but it ended up being only about 600 words. But then I gave Edward a problem and BAM! 4000 words. XD Oops. **

Edward stared down at his brother from the doorway of his bedroom. Emmett was currently smothering the hardwood stairs in grease, probably in the hopes that Edward wouldn't notice and would slip as he made his way downstairs.

"What are you doing?" Edward demanded as he jumped from the top step to the floor next to his brother, knowing better than to walk down the stairs that his brother had already greased.

Emmett jumped, and quickly stashed the grease and paintbrush he had been using under the small table next to him. They weren't very well hidden. "Nothing," He muttered, standing and smiling at his brother, but Edward noticed that this smile didn't hold the cheeriness his grins used to. In fact, Edward calculated that it had been years since Emmett had properly smiled. Not since Alice and Jasper joined the family.

Right now, the rest of the family had gone hunting and Carlisle had ordered Edward to stay home and 'babysit' his brother, as they had both gone hunting only a couple of days before. Edward thought it was unnecessary, and he knew that, really, Carlisle thought so too. But Emmett had been acting like a child recently, and he, like any other father, was prepared to treat his children like toddlers if they behaved like one.

"I would hardly call this 'nothing'," Edward commented, gesturing to the steps that were heavy with grease. Emmett just shrugged, making his way into the garage. He began removing parts from the engine of Carlisle and Edward's cars. Edward sighed. "Why do you do this?"

"Do what?" Emmett questioned with an air of innocence, his eyes widening slightly as he turned away from the cars and towards his brother.

"Act like a child!" His brother exclaimed, already frustrated. Emmett looked down at the floor for a moment before turning back the cars.

"Because I'm treated like one," He mumbled, and Edward frowned.

"Carlisle's only treats you like-"

"I wasn't talking about Carlisle."

Understanding crossed Edward's face. "...You were talking about Rosalie."

Emmett's bottom lip trembled slightly before he managed to look away. He tried to leave the garage, but his brother was faster, and caught his shoulder with ease. "Emmett," Edward murmured. "I know you're not happy. Don't try to hide it."

"Stop rubbing it in," Emmett snapped suddenly, and Edward removed his hand. "I get it. You know everything. I know nothing."

"That wasn't what I meant," Edward said softly, looking down at the floor. "In fact, I think you're a lot cleverer than you let on. I know you're a lot more _mature_ than you let on."

"You don't get it," Emmett muttered, making his way back into the living room. His brother followed.

"Then tell me," Edward demanded, but Emmett shrugged again.

Emmett sat down heavily on one of the sofas, and it groaned under his weight. Edward sat down gracefully next to him. It was obvious Emmett was struggling to find the right words for what he wanted to say, so Edward gave him time, trying his best to stay out of his brother's thoughts. "You don't know what its like..." Emmett began, and then paused, before starting again. "You don't... You don't know what its like to love Rosalie."

"I don't know what its like to love at all," Edward replied, somewhat sarcastically. Emmett glared at him. "My apologies. Go on."

"You don't know what its like to love someone who only loves you because... Because you remind her of something you can never give her," Emmett muttered darkly, looking anywhere but at his brother. "You don't know what it's like to pretend to be someone you're not just to make someone else happy."

"Oh, I do," Edward said, surprising Emmett, but his brother continued before he could ask questions. "But Rosalie doesn't love you because you remind her of a child."

"Please, Edward," Emmett groaned, leaning back into the cushions. "She asked Carlisle to _change_ me because I reminded her of her friend's baby!"  
>"You're wrong," Edward argued with just as much emotion. "She asked Carlisle to change you because she loved you."<p>

"And the only reason she paid any attention to me in the first place was because I looked like that Henry kid she keeps going on about! She didn't _really_ know she loved me until after I was fully changed."

Edward sighed. He had seen Rosalie's mind at those points. He couldn't argue with that. "Why should it matter?" He argued instead. "She loves you for _you_, now."

Emmett shook his head, this time looking his brother straight in the eye as he answered. "Ever since I woke up, she has treated me like a child. She has been condescending at times, and sometimes acts more like a mother than Esme does. She urges me to go to school, scolds me over bad grades and makes me do my homework. She makes sure I am never left alone for a minute and _dresses_ me. Like, puts my shirt on me and everything. I hate it, but I can't tell her that. I love her, and telling her would hurt her. I'm ashamed of the way she treats me."

Understanding washed through Edward, and he almost laughed as he realised Emmett's misery had just been a huge consequence of an even bigger misunderstanding. "Emmett," He said, almost laughing. "She treats you like a child because you never showed her otherwise!"

"What?"

"Think about it. Rosalie treated you like a child when you woke up, so you acted like one to make her happy; you thought it was what she wanted. Now, you're miserable because you have let her believe for all these years that you actually _need_ looking after. She is just doing what she thinks you need, and is trying to make you happy. She doesn't love you because you remind her of a child and she gets to play mother, she loves you because you are her _husband_, and you love her back. The thing some people get wrong with Rosalie is that she only wants a child," Edward said passionately, trying to console his brother.

"Doesn't she?" Emmett questioned with a clueless air.

"Of course not," Edward implored, smiling slightly. "When she thinks about what she wants, of course she thinks of children. She thinks of having grey hair and a rocking chair on the front porch. She thinks of grandchildren running around her garden, but then you bring her out of her thoughts, or someone does, and she realises that even if she had all of that, it wouldn't be worth it if she didn't have _you_."

Suddenly Edward was being swept up in a bear hug by his brother, who was thanking him. Finally Emmett let go of Edward, only to hug him again. "So you think she'll understand if I tell her?"

"Of course," Edward said as he was set back on his feet. "And once you start acting less like a child, Carlisle will stop treating you like one too. But there's no shame in being looked after by your wife. Don't tell him I told you this, but sometimes Jasper gets so upset about his past that he has flashbacks, and only Alice can help him then. Same with Carlisle, only Esme can help him when he loses a patient."

They sat back down and a comfortable silence fell over the pair, until something Edward had said at the beginning of their conversation came back to Emmett. "What did you mean by you knew what it was like to be someone you're not for someone else?" He inquired before his brother realised where his thoughts were going.

Edward silently cursed. "Nothing," He huffed. "Let's watch TV."

He reached for the remote, but Emmett got there first, and held it out of reach. "Not until you tell me what you meant," He demanded. "I already bared my soul to you. Now its your turn."

"You wouldn't understand," Muttered Edward. Emmett snorted.

"That's what I thought," He said, lowering the remote onto the table beside him. "But you understood a lot more than I thought you would. Who knows, maybe I will too."

"Its the mind reading," Edward conceded after a moment of silence, and Emmett nodded for him to go on. "I can hear what everyone thinks of me. I hear how they perceive me. So... So... After I hear what they think of me... I become the person they think I am." Emmett looked confused, so Edward stood, preparing to jump up the greased stairs. "You don't understand." Emmett caught his arm, pulling him back to the sofa.

"Then explain," Emmett said, and his brother sighed.

"Well..." He began. "For example, Jasper thinks I bottle up my emotions. He thinks I think I know everything and he thinks I judge him for his past and he thinks I look down at him... So... So I do." Edward lowered his head into his hands as Emmett stared at him in shock. "Rosalie basically thinks the same, except she thinks I hide behind Carlisle and Esme and that I haven't grown up yet, so that's how I act around her. Alice thinks I'm bitter, and that my gift hurts me, so I act like I am, and I act like it does. Esme thinks I'm the perfect Victorian Gentlemen, and that I could never hurt a fly and that I am still in need of a mother, so I act like a _perfect Victorian Gentlemen. _I can't even be myself around Carlisle anymore. After my rebellious stage, he assumed I had become reclusive, and I hadn't. I was trying to figure out a way to tell him exactly what I had done in those years without him turning me away. I barely talk around him anymore. And you... And you..."

"I think you're a brat who was spoiled as a kid and is spoiled now. I think you like the sound of your own voice and that you think your music is the most amazing thing to ever be heard," Emmett finished, feeling shame that he had ever thought he was right about who his brother was.

"Exactly," Edward said, looking up to face his brother. "So around you I talk a lot, and then around Carlisle I don't talk much at all. Then with Jasper I act as if I'm above all of you, and then around Rosalie I act as though I'm practically afraid of my own shadow and I need Carlisle and Esme to protect me. Then with Alice I act as though I have a headache and I hate the world, and Carlisle and Esme think its mood swings that are caused by the fact I'm seventeen and then Esme worries and she and Carlisle argue about whether or not I'll ever find a mate."

"Dude," Emmett breathed, finally closing his mouth. "Why the _Hell_ did you let me vent first?"

"Because your problem can be fixed," Edward replied calmly.

"So can yours."

"No it can't."

"Why?"

"I have an incessant need to _please_ people, Emmett!" Edward groaned, lowering his head back into his hands. "I can't help it. I just... I just mould myself to whatever they want me to be, because I hear so much I'm not meant to the least I can do is be the person they want me to be. You know how I don't really play the piano anymore? I stopped because it annoyed Jasper. Then I started pacing instead and that annoyed Rosalie so now I have nothing to calm down... And I don't have to pretend the headache with Alice anymore."

Emmett didn't say anything for a moment as he needed a moment to collect his thoughts. He almost groaned out loud as he realised how much the family had been taking advantage of Edward's gift. He heard so many things, including the things that most of the family would never actually dare to say to his face, and then felt guilt that he had heard it at all so he acted on it. God, they had been torturing their brother. Edward snorted. "Why not take advantage on my gift? It's my fault I hear it anyway."

"No it's not," Emmett said incredulously. "You never asked for this!"

Edward shrugged. "So? I still hear it."

"Dude..." Emmett began. "You have to tell the family about this. You're miserable."

"No way," Edward sighed sadly. "They'll just think I'm being whiny."

"No they won't," Emmett argued. "I'll prove it. Next time someone asks you if you're okay, you tell them the truth, alright? None of this suffering in silence crap. You tell them you're not okay, okay?"

Before Edward had a chance to argue back the family came through the front door; luckily they had been laughing and talking as they approached the house so they hadn't heard a word of what was being said inside, and only Jasper was confused, as he stepped into the house first for less than a second he thought he saw Edward hunched over with Emmett rubbing his back consolingly. But suddenly the picture was gone, and both brothers were smiling and greeting the family.

"Hello Rose," Said Emmett, sweeping his wife into a bear hug. Then he whispered, even though he knew it would be heard by the entire family. "Can we go talk in private?"

Rosalie looked surprised, but she smiled and said, "Sure, honey." And they began making their way out the door.

"Are you alright dear?" Emmett heard Esme ask, and he knew who it was directed at. He froze in the doorway of their home and his wife looked at him curiously.

"I'm fine," He heard Edward reply, and anger and disappointment welled inside him. Jasper looked at him in alarm. Emmett just shook his head at Jasper and followed his wife into the forest.

"What did you want to talk about?" Rosalie asked once they were far enough away. They both sat down on a fallen log, and Emmett, once again, looked down at his feet.

"It's kind of hard to explain," He said, and Rosalie nodded, prepared to give him time. "Well... You know how... You know how I'm a bit... How I'm basically a child? No, wait a sec," He added as Rosalie looked as though she was about to interrupt. "Well, I was talking to Ed, and he... Well... It's kind of miserable, the way you look after me. And it's okay that you do look after me like that because I let you believe that I needed to be looked after because I know that you always wanted a kid, so I acted like one to give you that."

His explanation seemed awkward and he cringed as he replayed it in his head. But his wife seemed to know what he was trying to say, and smiled at him. "I'm sorry," She murmured after a short moment. "I didn't mean to treat you like a child."

"I know," Emmett reassured her. "You didn't really, its just that I was tired of acting like one and being treated like one by Carlisle. And Ed told me that it would be okay if I told you that I don't need looking after... All the time... He said you wouldn't be upset."

"Of course I'm not upset!" Rosalie exclaimed, smiling slightly. "I'm only upset because you stayed quiet for so long. I'm sorry I made you miserable... And... What exactly did Edward say?"

Emmett shrugged, prepared to tell her what she wanted to know as long as she didn't ask him to tell her what else they had spoken about. "He told me how you wanted kids, and to grow old. But he told me that you didn't want kids if you didn't want me, and you loved me."

She seemed upset that Edward had told him her thoughts, and he knew she would be telling her brother off when they got home. He almost sighed; it seemed Edward couldn't do anything right. "Well," She said. "He was right. But he shouldn't have told you that."

"He was just trying to help," Emmett huffed, almost groaning. But Rosalie didn't notice, so arm-in-arm, they stood, and made their way back to the house at a leisurely pace. When they got there Emmett was dismayed to see Edward sitting on the couch, his arms crossed with one hand half covering his mouth while his right leg bounced, not touching the floor at any point just in case the noise annoyed someone and he was asked to stop. Emmett also noticed that his brother was sitting alone. He knew Carlisle and Esme wouldn't actively avoid their son, and that they just happened to be sitting on the other sofa, but he knew that Jasper liked his space whenever he was reading, so he was angered to see that Jasper had Alice in his lap in an armchair, while he read a book and she read a magazine. Alice, at least, was avoiding sitting next to Edward. How had he never noticed this before?

Almost defiantly, he sat down next to his brother, crossing his arms. Rosalie sat down daintily next to him, looking confused. Jasper sent out a wave of calm as Emmett's anger continued to spike, but Emmett pushed it away. He wanted to be angry at his siblings. He wanted to be angry because he knew Edward couldn't be. Edward smiled at him slightly, seeming to calm a little bit. _You were right_, Emmett thought to him. _Rosie understood. _

"I'm glad," He responded quietly, sitting straight in his seat. Rosalie caught on to what he was talking about, and glared at Edward.

"You had no right to tell Emmett my thoughts," Rosalie said icily, and Edward just sighed.

"Emmett was miserable," He snapped, but he seemed to shrink, shifting away from her. Thinking back on previous arguments involving Edward, Emmett realised that to Jasper, Edward would have said the same thing, but would have sat up straighter and acted as though Jasper was below him, just because that was what Jasper thought. It didn't make Jasper feel bad about himself to have Edward look down at him, it just made him feel smug that he was right about his brother. Emmett hated this. "I'm going for a run," Edward stated. Emmett got up.

"Me too!" He exclaimed, but Edward was already out the door; he was faster than any of them. Emmett ran after him as the family looked at him confused.

_Edward!_ He called in his mind. _Where are you? Why won't you be yourself? I just want you to be yourself. Stop hiding behind what we think of you._

He stopped running and looked around for a moment. The forest was silent, until suddenly something was crashing into him from the side. He turned to find that it was his brother, and quickly separated himself from him, staring at him in confusion. Edward was still in a crouch, but straightened quickly as he saw Emmett's bewildered expression. "Sorry..." He muttered. "I just..."

"Were you challenging me to a fight?" Emmett asked with shock. "I thought... I thought you thought you were above fighting."

"Exactly," Edward said. "I just... I'm sorry..."

Edward began to walk away, but Emmett smirked and tackled him, sending them both flying through the trees. The two laughed as, this time, they continued the fight, growling playfully. By the end, Edward had Emmett pinned against the dirt, his teeth at his throat. "I win," He said smugly, standing and helping Emmett to stand too. He grinned at his brother before taking off running, finally letting go of the stress that had been plaguing him. Emmett laughed as he followed, accepting the race.

"I don't understand Jasper," Emmett called to his brother as they ran. "Surely if playing piano calms you, it would calm him too. Why does he ask you to stop?"

"The music annoys him," Edward shrugged, slowing ever so slightly. "He says I should just go into the forest alone to escape the voices, but he doesn't understand how big my range is. His is a lot smaller than mine, so when he's far enough away from us he's completely alone with his emotions. We don't live that far from town, so unless I was to run into the wilderness for a couple of hours, I'll never be alone with my thoughts. He just doesn't understand that."

Emmett's smile fell, but he managed to stay calm enough that Jasper didn't suspect anything as they arrived back at the house. "Ha!" Edward exclaimed as they got through the door. "I win!"

Everyone was surprised at this, as Edward didn't usually win; he often found it easier to let the others win. The second surprising thing was that he was actually celebrating it. If Edward did win he always seemed unconcerned by it.

"Did not," Emmett challenged, hoping that Edward would keep being himself, but he was disappointed as his brother just shrugged, put on an expressionless mask and walked up the stairs. It seemed Esme had noticed the grease, but had cleaned it rather than asking questions.

At some point in the night, Emmett heard Edward begin pacing in his room. After only thirty seconds, he heard Rosalie growl lowly, and the pacing stopped. A few seconds later, footsteps made their way downstairs and suddenly Edward was sitting at his piano, trying to calm himself with his own music. But he felt Jasper shift uncomfortably (as if) on the couch next to him, and Edward's playing stopped. His brother left the house after that, giving up hope of calming down.

Emmett, also, gave up on being calm, crushing the game controller in his hands, snarling as pieces of plastic flew across the floor. Everyone jumped, and no one was more surprised than Jasper as Emmett turned on him.

"What the Hell, man?" Emmett demanded, a snarl marring his tone.

"What?" Jasper said cluelessly, and Emmett punched him, sending him to the floor. Esme and Carlisle cried out in shock.

"Don't you get that he needs that to relax?!" Emmett snarled. "That he needs it to stay _calm_. Because he doesn't have anyone, like we do, to help him."

"What do you mean?" Jasper questioned, using the couch to pull himself to a standing position. He winced as he felt the small crack in his cheek heal.

Emmett growled again. "I _mean_, he uses the music to help him relax."

"He could just go for a run," Jasper defended, raising his hands and taking a step back as his brother's anger spiked.

"No he _can't,_" Emmett revealed, his hands curling into fists again. "His range is _a lot_ bigger than yours, and unless he runs two hours into the mountains, he will never be alone with his thoughts."

All the Cullens looked confused at this revelation. "He never said..." Carlisle whispered, worried about how much hurt his son had really been hiding.

"And do you know what else he didn't tell you?" Emmett said, ready to tell his family Edward's secret if it helped his brother be happy. "That he's influenced by our thoughts. He knows what we thought of him when we first met him, and he feels guilty that he hears our thoughts so he moulds himself to who he thinks we want him to be. Carlisle, the reason he doesn't talk around you is because he heard you thinking he had become a recluse after his rebellious years. The reason he talks around me was because I thought he was a spoiled brat who liked the sound of his own voice. Rose, you thought he was afraid of the real world, and his behind Carlisle and Esme, so that's why it seems like he's scared of you. Jazz, he doesn't look down his nose at you. That's just what you thought. Alice, his gift doesn't hurt him' that's an assumption you made. Esme, none of it's mood swings. It's just him trying to be six different people, and find someway to be himself, at the same time."

He stopped, waiting for it all to sink in. Carlisle slowly lowered his head into his hands, and Jasper lowered himself back into sofa. Alice rubbed his arm as Rosalie walked over to Emmett and rubbed his back soothingly. They too sat down.

"When did he tell you this?" Rose asked quietly.

"The night you all went hunting," Emmett replied. "And yesterday, when we went running. He was celebrating winning because I wanted him to be himself, he was being _himself_. I think being everyone he thinks we want him to be is taking it's toll, as well. Obviously he never said, but I can see that he's stressed a lot more lately."

After a moment Emmett got up, ready to go and find his brother. Esme and Carlisle went with him, running through the forest; trying to find their son. They did find him, or rather, Emmett did. Edward was in a meadow filled with flowers, lying face down with his left cheek pressed against the grass. He looked as though he were asleep, but Emmett knew better. "Guys!" He called, and his parents were at his side immediately. They sighed as they saw their son.

"I know you're there," Edward mumbled. "There's no need to be stealthy about it."

Emmett chuckled, and walked forward, sitting down on the grass next to his brother. Edward rolled over onto his back and looked up at his brother. "You told them my secret."

"You're welcome!" Emmett cheered as their parents sat next to them, immediately pulling Edward up into a hug between them. His brother didn't cry, just held onto Carlisle's shirt with one hand, and Esme's hand with the other as they bombarded him with comforting thoughts, telling him they were sorry he was suffering, and he could be himself now. They knew it would take some time before their son would open up enough to be completely himself, but they hoped.

"We should get back," Carlisle stated after a while, and everyone nodded, standing.

Edward took off immediately, shouting. "Race you back!" And Emmett chuckled, running after him. Carlisle and Esme didn't join the race, but did run after their children, laughing.

Over the next few weeks, and even months, the family saw a more outgoing Edward, and a less outgoing Emmett, and they were grateful for both. Even though no one knew _exactly_ what was said to Edward in the forest, or what was said to Emmett when everyone but the two brothers went hunting, all they knew was that both of them were happier, and as a result, so was everyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**I know this was a oneshot... But... You know me... **

Edward ran his right hand up the piano keys, playing a simple chord to make sure it was in tune. The sound reverberated throughout the house, and Emmett smiled as it did, not looking up from his game of chess with Jasper. They were creating new rules, and were in the process of incorporating an eighth bored into the game, and Edward's music was calming, and therefore welcomed. Everyone smiled as the first three chords of Esme's Favourite also sounded, but there was no noise after that. They were all confused.

Emmett and Jasper looked up. The girls and their parents came out of their rooms and gazed down the stairs to see what had stopped their brother from playing, but they were only confused more. He was still sitting there, at the piano, and his hands were still holding the last chord. But he was just sitting there. Staring. Only Jasper and Emmett were close enough to realise what he was staring at.

His song book.

The thing was leather bound and tattered. It was lovingly looked after and rarely let near anyone but Edward himself. It documented every song, lyric, poem or tune he had ever thought of, every single note written with care. The two brothers exchanged a worried glance.

In a movement almost too quick to see, Edward grabbed the book and ran off to his room. The Cullens cringed slightly, remembering the reason he had been like that the last night. Emmett bowed his head. "I'll talk to him," He offered, but before he could get up they heard Edward jump out of his window, and saw him running with a metal case clasped in his hands. Emmett stood, waving for Jasper to sit back down. "Be back soon," He told Rosalie, who nodded.

It didn't take him long to find his baby brother, who was sitting on the far side of the lake, looking out at the water, the case in his lap. "Acting on our thoughts again?" Emmett asked lightly, sitting next to his brother.

Edward snorted. "That was twenty years ago. Why? Rosalie trouble?"

"Nope," Emmett said cheerily, stretching his legs in front of him. "Happy as a clam."

"Then why did you ask?" Edward inquired, fiddling with the locks on the case.

Emmett shrugged. "You've been acting strange lately, more... Sad, less hopeful. Is it Alaska? We've been here for a while. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind moving again, if it makes you feel better."

Edward rolled his eyes, finally looking up at his brother. "That's not true, Rosalie would throw a fit. Besides... It's not Alaska."

"Is it Tanya?"

Edward laughed, shaking his head. Emmett grinned, relishing in the sound of his brother's laugh. He hadn't heard it for _weeks_. "No, no. She's calmed down with her advances lately."

"Then what is it?" Emmett asked, confusion clouding his mind.

Edward sighed, his shoulders slumping. He quickly opened the locks on the case, throwing open the lid and revealing his song book inside. He slowly leafed through the pages, fully aware of Emmett's eyes on his side. "These songs..." He began, struggling for words. "These songs reflect someone who is hopeful, and happy with his lot. They reflect someone who believes they can find love in their future... But that's not me... Any more. Esme was right. I'm too young to find a mate. No one finds love at seventeen."

"You can."

"I can't. Em, it's just not going to happen for me. I'm not that person any more. Even if I find love, it's not like they'd love me back." He moved the case from his lap, closing it and placing it on the grass in front of him. The ground was muddy, and the case began to slide towards the lake. Emmett caught it before it went in.

"You're just going to throw this away?!" He demanded. "You worked so hard on this!"

Edward shrugged, staring dejectedly at the case next to him. "I didn't. That's not me, any more."

"Let's go for a hunt?" Emmett suggested, quickly running out of ideas. "Clear your mind. You haven't gone in a while, so you might feel better afterwards. So just think things through... And if, afterwards, you still want to throw it away, I won't try to stop you."

His brother nodded; so Emmett stood. A smile began to grow on his face as he stepped forward. Edward would be okay; he was sure of it.

But his smile faded as he heard a splash, and Edward appeared next to him, his hands in his pockets, the case nowhere in sight. "You ready?" Edward asked, and Emmett nodded with gritted teeth, following his brother into the forest.

When they got back, everyone could see the change in the two brothers. Edward seemed... lighter, and only Emmett knew it was because he had just destroyed the last part of his old self. Emmett was haunted, feeling guilty for not stopping his brother for something he _knew_ he would regret.

But as the years went by, Edward didn't seem to regret his decision at all. This angered Emmett, but he never said anything, just watching as his brother became more reclusive as the days went by. Sometimes they didn't see him for days at a time, as he holed himself up in his room. Emmett knew he wasn't acting on Carlisle's thoughts, this time.

They moved to a town called Forks after they left Alaska and their cousins, and for a while things seemed to get better. Edward conversed with his siblings, played piano (albeit rarely) and debated with Carlisle when he offered something he knew his son would oppose to. Everyone knew Carlisle did it on purpose to get his son to talk, but Edward humoured him, pretending he didn't know of Carlisle's intentions. Carlisle was grateful.

But then things changed again. It got to the point where Edward would only come out of his room to hunt every two weeks and to go to school. The Cullen children began to enjoy lunch times, as it was the only time they could actually see their brother, but that changed too. Edward began to leave the school during lunch. At first they thought he was leaving to hunt, but no one could mistake the black hue of his eyes when he met up with them to go to class after lunch.

"This is ridiculous," Jasper muttered during the second week Edward had missed lunch. Everyone turned from Edward's empty seat to Jasper, who looked sad and angry at the same time. "Why is he avoiding us?"

"He's lost hope," Emmett offered. "He's completely given up."

"On what?" Rosalie questioned, upset at her husband's obvious distress.

"Everything," He replied. "Finding love. Being loved. He doesn't think he's worth it."

For a moment Emmett considered telling them what Edward had done to his song book, but decided against it. Edward hadn't composed anything in years, so no one questioned why the book hadn't appeared in a long time. But he decided not to tell them, as it would just upset them, and they didn't need that. Also, it would hurt Edward if he thought he had hurt them, however indirectly, and Emmett wasn't going to let that happen. Even though Alice and Edward were considered the closest, even thri bond couldn't defeat the fierceness an older brother feels to protect his younger brother, even if it's from himself.

"Maybe we can get him to sit next to us next week. There _is_ a new girl coming," Said Alice, in an unusually sad tone. Jasper reached for her hand.

"Maybe she will be the one for him," Jasper murmured, kissing his wife sweetly on the cheek. Everyone gave a small smile before they stood and made their way to class.

The next week, Edward sat with them, and they couldn't help but stare at him. He watched the girl, and then found he had a class with her.

That night... He left.

"You're leaving?!" Alice had exclaimed as Edward sped towards their home. Emmett almost growled, thinking his brother was leaving because the loneliness was too much.

"Yes," Edward had growled back to Alice. "But not for the reason you and Emmett are thinking. You don't understand."

Alice froze then, another one of her visions taking over. "Stop!" Edward roared in a desperate voice. Alice came out of her trance.

"I understand," She whispered. Edward was running from the girl's scent, not from his own feelings. Alice was relieved.

When Edward came back, he warred between talking to the girl and avoiding her completely. Weeks past, and one day he sat with her at lunch. That night he came home with a lemonade cap, placed it on the piano and composed a new song. Everyone was shocked, but no one was more shocked than Emmett. And it is a strong belief of his that no one was more pleased, either. Emmett was the one Edward had bared his soul to, and only Emmett knew how far down Edward's loneliness had run. So no one was more pleased than Emmett when they realised...

That Edward had found love.

As the song continued, the family dispersed. Alice, Jasper and Rosalie went to their respective rooms, Esme went to her office, and Carlisle went to work. But Emmett stayed, and watched as his brother finished the most loving and hopeful song he had ever composed. However, the happy air didn't last long, as Edward stood and leaned down to open the piano stool, as it held all of the music books he had ever acquired. But he paused with his hand on the lid, and then sat back down with a sigh. He had thrown the one book he needed at this moment away. It was now sealed in a metal box underneath the ice of the lake outside the Denali's home.

Emmett knew what was troubling him immediately. "Didn't you think to fish it out while you were up there?" He hoped the family wouldn't catch on; they didn't know about the book, and he knew Edward didn't want them to.

"I was distracted," His brother groaned. "Oh well. It doesn't matter."

But it did matter, because as the months went by Edward composed more songs, first for Bella as his girlfriend, then as Bella his fiancee; Bella his wife, and then his daughter. As he grew happier he began to compose songs for the whole family and their relationships with each other. Thankfully, he had vampire memory, and never needed the book. He seemed complete, but only Emmett knew there was something wrong.

They were finally visiting Denali, only two years after Renesmee's birth. The only other time they had gone up there was when they needed to ask them to witness for them against the Volturi. The book was the furthest thing from Edward's mind. On their third night there, only two nights before Edward's birthday (which he had no intention of celebrating, but everyone knew at least Bella would make a fuss, and so would Nessie), Emmett walked out to the far side of the lake. This time, the water was encased in ice, but it did nothing to stop the man from completing his mission. He simply punched holes in the ice until he could comfortably slip into the water, the murky darkness doing nothing to his eyesight. It didn't take him long to find the case, even though it was covered in about eight years worth of dirt. When he pulled the case to the surface and opened it, he breathed a sigh of relief as he found that case hadn't let any water touch the book. He picked up his relatively dry coat off of a low tree branch and placed the book in the inside pocket, thinking purely of his favourite nursery rhymes as he slung the coat over his shoulder and whistled his way home. Edward gave him a questioning look as he strode into the house, dripping wet, but he said and thought nothing as he made his way upstairs and into the bathroom.

Two nights later, Edward was sitting by the lake. It was his birthday, and Bella and Nessie had surprised him with his _own_ song. They had composed a duet together, to play for the man who gave them everything. It had touched his heart in a way he never thought anything could, and everyone else thought it was incredibly sweet. But the moment became bitter sweet as he thought of his song book, and how he would have loved for his daughter to write down the song in there. But she couldn't. He had already looked in the lake the night before, and it was no longer there. He hadn't thought it would be.

"Hey bro!" Emmett greeted as he flung himself down on the grass. The small package he was holding was hidden behind his back. "How was your birthday?"

"Better than most I've had," Edward commented, eyeing his brother suspiciously. "What's got you so cheery?"

Emmett grinned, holding out the package. "I got you a present," He said mischievously.

Edward frowned sceptically, taking the packge from his brother and undoing the rough bow. He then took off the thick layer of newspaper covering it and froze at what was underneath. "You didn't..." He breathed, tracing the words carved into the front of the leather - _Property of E.A Masen Cullen_. The Cullen had been added after he had accepted Carlisle as his father, as he had the thing since he was human. Somehow, it had survived so many years. Edward looked back up at his brother, who was smiling broadly. "You did," He said simply, and his bottom lip trembled slightly as he drew in a shaky breath, trying desperately to calm his emotions. Suddenly, he launched himself at his brother. "Thank you!" He cried, pulling Emmett into a hug. "Thank you, my brother, my friend."

Emmett chuckled, hugging his younger brother back. "You're welcome, brother. You're very welcome."


End file.
